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My Boyfriend Met My Kids

It finally happened. The moment I’ve been waiting for, praying about and obsessing about the best way to orchestrate. And no orchestration was even necessary. My boyfriend mentioned he might go fishing...

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All Or Nothing

That’s the attitude in life that has consistently damaged me. It’s the reason I didn’t finish college, instead of staying on with just a few subjects, I quit altogether. It’s the reason I drifted away...

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I Would Do Anything For Love But I Won’t Do That

It’s becoming increasingly tricky to take over my shift with the kids from the ex. I don’t want to give the impression that I’m disparaging his parenting, because in fact I believe him to be a better...

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Letter To My Son (To Be Opened When You’re Older)

Dear David, Despite our best precautions I see that you are not adjusting well to the separation. My clue to this is that you tell me you hate me roughly three times a day, and while I know that it’s...

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Baby UFC In My Livingroom

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Why The Pennsylvania Mom Left Her Kids

The story capturing the attention (if not the heart) of the nation is that of Pennsylvanian mother Brenda Heist who “on a whim” decided to leave her divorcing husband and two children, and hitchhike...

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Happy Mothers’ Day For My Single Ladies

This Mothers’ Day Blog is dedicated to the single moms. Because it’s been a long time (if ever) since you’ve had someone to force your kids to make the cards and be extra nice on your “special day.”...

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My Kid Told Me He Hates Me Again

A couple of weeks ago I moved back into the house I shared with my now ex-husband and two children. My ex husband and I are still on very good terms, we’re best friends, he annoys the shit out of me...

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Myths About Having Children Debunked

I gave having kids no thought whatsoever. I was like, “I love babies. They’re so cute. Can I get one, with a side of arugula?” Just no idea. Casually decided to have kids like I was ordering a latte,...

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Mornings With Mommy

5:20 a.m. Woken up by barking dogs. For no reason. Woeful lack of firearms. 6:43 a.m. Child randomly wanders in like it’s lost. 6:44 Beg for lost child’s humanity to let me sleep until 7. 7:00 Child...

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My Book Is Coming Soon

I’ll Be The Death Of Me – A Memoir

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Parenting While Mentally Ill

If you weren’t mentally ill before becoming a parent, I can almost guarantee that having kids will make it so. All of one’s job travails, interpersonal challenges and recriminations for roads not taken...

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Wait, I Might Actually Be Happy

Don’t look now but I’m actually happy today. I know those of you accustomed to my semi-depressed, ambivalent rantings about parenthood expect better (or worse) but I find myself this week in a...

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My Kids Have Saved My Life Again

It is beyond doubt that when I met the guy who would become my husband fifteen years ago, I was on a trajectory towards suicide. I was skinny, cigarette addicted and adrenally exhausted from a year...

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Hallowhy?

Last night was Halloween, and my kids were beyond excited. Is it wrong that I was somehow… not? As an actor I have always loved to dress up; anything to do with shifting identities and pretending to be...

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Depression’s Antidote

It is normal to derive joy from your kids’ joy. When I don’t, I feel even less normal than usual-which is a whole bunch of abnormal. What I have realized is when there is no joy in my life I cannot be...

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Parenting Is Not “Rewarding.”

People love to tell you that it is, but how is parenting a reward? And what is it a reward for, fertility? When you put your kids to bed at night, what’s the prize? They’re just going to get up again...

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Things Children Are Good For

1. Scratching your back. 2. Cuddling. 3. Kissing. This is all that I can find right now. From someone who picked them up at 12:40 from school with all the best intentions (including a stockpile of food...

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Kids Are Selfish Little Assholes

And they are supposed to be. Just don’t tell them that because children have no sense of irony and would probably take it personally. Maybe they are oversensitive due to how recently they were still in...

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My Kid Said He Wanted To Die

For some parents this wouldn’t be a big deal. We all know that kids say the darnedest things don’t they? Yet somehow I can’t see this on the eponymous Bill Cosby hosted show. But for someone who has...

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